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Getting Laid Takes Practice
By sKwirl

So you wanna be a pro. Don’t we all. Wouldn’t it be nice if we all could ride as well as our favorite riders? Wouldn’t that be utopia? I know I would love to jam out some fantastic moves with style and finesse. So how are we going to get that good? Lets try and figure it out.

Lets see… how many years have the top professional riders been swooping thru the air at high speeds or jumping handle bars and pegs like they were cracks in the street? Most of the ones that you see on ESPN have been at it for upwards of ten or more years. Not including McCoy that guy is a vessel. Now that is ten or more years of riding daily, repeat on that DAILY. “Can we have a price check on the daily in isle 4?”

You know how you get up brush your teeth, go to school, come home, do your homework and play video games then sleep. Well, try waking up going, to school, coming home, doing your homework and then riding, EVERY NIGHT for 3 or 4 hours plus. If you want a more realistic scenario it would be more like wake up and ride your bike. But we all know that isn’t what is good for your mind. We don’t want to advocate dropping out of school just to ride a bike. Smart people are very freakin’ cool. Don’t ever knock being smart or sell yourself short. If you love something like riding enough you will find away to do both and excel.

It takes on average about a year to get some of the basics or fundamentals of riding down. Bike control is mondo improtonto. Learning what you can do with the bike and what you can make it do is very important in the long run. Flatland is good for that type of stuff. It is very technical and gives you a better understanding of the bike layout; so don’t forget that part of freestyle when you are flying around the parks and city streets.

Once you have got the mechanics of a trick, getting it down pat and consistent is a daily ritual of riding and paying attention to progressing.

You know this is starting to sound like an instruction manual. Screw all this. If you wanna get good you gotta practice your ass off all the time. But most of all you have to have fun doing it. If you are not having fun you should go do something else. Play football or run track and field where they make themselves go out there and run around like maniacs. Better yet you could be a figure skater and Tonya Harding your opponents. At least with riding you are doing it for yourself and cuz it is fun as hell.

So if you wanna get a trick and you wanna be good like that pro you saw on the X-Games, go out and have some fun everyday for about 10 years.

OK, OK, I know you want a time frame of when you are going to get that funky chicken or that bar spin air. So the answer is… it all depends on you bucko. Yup. The onus lays smack dab in your lap. It is all up to you if you wanna be that good. So what is it? Ride like a pro? Or no?

GO RIDE! It will get you laid. I swear. Either that or you will be put in jail. But then you still get laid. So there you have it. RIDING GETS YOU LAID! I am so PC.


As an added note:  I believe that only ONE of the pros that were at the X-Games were under 20 years of age- and not one of the guys who won was under 20.  Flatland is extremely grueling to learn how to do properly.  So plan on many tricks taking three months or more to learn- even a basic trick.  Don't pretend that it means everything to you because only about 30 guys are making a decent living from riding their bikes... the rest have jobs AND ride.


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